Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Biggest Loser

When this season of The Biggest Loser started, I made a commitment and a public statement on Facebook that I was going to lose weight with the current contestants.

I remember the post.  I included my morning weight at that time and my measurements. 

Weight at that time=232

Weight this morning=233


I actually am sitting here giggling.  Oh well.  It wasn’t obviously a loss, I’m going to relish in the good of it.  It’s not 269 which is my highest weight recorded. 

A step further, I’m going to relish in the good of my life.  I am here.  I have survived two winter storms so far this season.  I am happy and going in a really good direction.  I am healthy, employed and loved.  233 is okay.  I ate well, including whole grains, calcium, lean protein and produce.  My husband and I ate leftovers tonight which means we made use of the food so we don’t waste and I find it lurking in this fridge next month (YIKES).  And we didn’t order out, spending needless money and eating most certainly more unhealthy than we did.  I did eat breaded chicken and fries (leftover from a celebratory supper last night at Hooters, but I ate the ½ of the chicken I didn’t eat last night without the bun (extra unneeded carbs, especially when I really wanted THE FRIES).  And I was starting to crave a Dairy Queen run, I wandered over to the fridge and got the fresh veggies that were already cut (YEAH FOR PREPPING!) and munched on celery and red pepper until I wasn’t ready to scarf the entire Blizzard menu.  It’s a couple hours later and I am hungry thinking about a snack.  Positive and negative choices spiral for me.  I am certain that because I feel good about filing myself up with raw veggies, I am primed for think about a handful of almonds (Emerald Dark Cocoa Roast…OMG) and a 2 Pointsplus point (PointsPlus is a Weight Watchers term…I get to eat 36 a day) .  My house is starting to look almost…GASP…organized!  I’m 38 years old and I don’t know that I ever could truly say that.  I’m finding ways to get my heart rate up almost every day (I let Jillian out of the box…but that’s another story) and I’m putting my Christmas tree up.  Life is good.

Oh…and if you aren’t an NBC watcher on Tuesday nights…The finale of Biggest Loser is on right now.  The biggest loss so far has been 50.59% of the starting weight.  50.50% is not what I have lost in this time period.  If you remember from the beginning of this post…I’ve lost…nothing.

I’ve gained a pound.
But I’ve also gained a whole lot more since this TV show started as well.  Life truly is very good.  I'm better prepared and ready to live a healthier life.  My husband and I have started doing more things together, both at home like cleaning and budget type conversations and in our outside lives.  He is teaching me karate and we are both starting to learn archery. 

My hero of The Biggest Loser this season is shockingly, Elizabeth.  She was lazy, whiny and ill prepared for the work that had to be done on the ranch and at home.  I hoped the cast would vote her off every chance they got.

She made it to the end.  She also made the largest emotional and psychological change out of anybody in the cast.  She has truly wrapped her head around her experience on this show as the opportunity that it is.  A life altering moment.  She's who I want to emulate.  

I’m going to go finish decorating my tree and see who won the show.

Merry Christmas to you and your families.  If you are as lucky as me, you too are blessed and it is a amazing time to be alive and well!

Thursday, December 9, 2010


So today was another day of figuring food out.  I have been trying to "be on plan" (Weight Watchers) since last Friday.  This sentence makes me giggle...makes me think about the people that "quit smoking" the day they get admitted into the hospital. 

Step #1.  Good.  Ate yummy breakfast of raisin bran and some low fat yogurt.  Was tasty :)  Was pretty satisfied and was doing well until....

Step #2:  I gave into the little demons on my shoulder and started mindlessly eating chocolates.  Can't even tell you how many I ate since I had already eaten some of them and shoved the wrappers back in the bag.  Whoops.

Step #3:  I dusted myself off.  I stopped.  In the past, a trip such as step #2 would have made me throw away the rest of the day.  In WW (Weight Watchers) they ask us if we fell down a half of flight of stairs, would we stand up and throw ourselves down the rest.  They somehow infer that this equates to falling off the "healthy" eating wagon, then continuing to eat crap...sorry...unhealthy food...the rest of the day...week...month...life.  I get the theory as far as...well the theory.  Have they fallen down stairs???  Do they know that falling down the stairs HURTS???  Do they know that eating chocolate cake doesn't feel ANYTHING LIKE FALLING DOWN STAIRS???

Step #4:  I didn't throw myself down the rest of the stairs.  I actually tracked the chocolate, at least the best
guess of what I ate and it wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be.  I met a good friend for lunch and made good choices to have a lunch that was higher in protein and fiber and lower in carbs (especially bad carbs) and fat.  And I was honest with my friend.  In the blogging spirit of brutal honesty I told her about the mindless chocolate...otherwise known as step #2.  It helped. 

Step #5:  Wine.  Really wanted to have some wine tonight...so I did :)  Happy girl :)

Step #6:  Made egg beaters for supper.  Egg beaters (or better 'n eggs) are an awesome egg product that allows you to eat eggs without the fat.  Just finished eating a mess of egg beaters with FF (fat free) sour cream, a little LF (low fat) sour cream and a pile of FF salsa.  YUM.  Just hit my WW goal for the day.

And I feel good. 

Brutal honesty

A friend of mine asked me today what motivated me to start blogging.  I have been thinking and struggling with that since I started.

Writing is cathartic.  In order to put words down on paper (or computer) takes thought.  It is easy for me to check into “coast” in life.  I watch the emotional break-downs of people on The Biggest Loser and wonder what it is in my life that keeps me here.  I think a lot of it is coasting.  It is easy to sit and watch other people’s lives.  It is easy to sit and watch the “reality shows” on tv and “get inspired” but yet sit and wait for next week’s show.

I want to be able to identify with people.  I know that I am not the only one with the issues that I have.  I want other people’s input and thoughts about my life.  If my life can help anybody else, I would love for that to happen as well.

But…all these things take honesty.  Didn’t quite rap my head around the fact that other people would really be reading this.  Other people whose opinions are different than mine.  Other people who have been a part of my life for a very long time. 

I pledge to be as honest as I can stand without causing ripples that I don’t want to cause. 
I welcome any comments, questions or thoughts about my posts or anybody else’s comments.  Please be involved in any way you feel comfortable with!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

More to come....

Has been a rough couple of days when it comes to food.  Lots of emotions running around and working to manage my reaction to them.  Some very successfully, some moderately, some not so much.  I'm getting better at stopping the downward spiral instead of it taking over my life.  Will expand more tomorrow...no time to write today but time to think. 

2.4 pounds down this week at Weight Watchers.  The gal asked me what I thought...3 steps forward, 2 steps back.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Some of my favorite products....

I am including websites if you want to check out the full nutritional content, but am including the nutritional info that I am most interested in.  PointsPlus is a Weight Watchers designation that is from the current plan (launched 11/28/2010).

Skinny Water
Favorite flavor:  XXX Detox Peach Mango Mandarin
0 PointsPlus 0 g carbs 7% of daily calcuim
Best served cold

Sara Lee 45 Calories & Delightful
Favorite type:  100% Multigrain (is 100% whole grain) and 100% Whole Wheat w/honey
1 PointsPlus per slice  2 for 2 slices  18g carbs per 2 slices  5g fiber per 2 slices
Whole grains, whole grains, whole grains :)

Pepperidge Farm Swirl 100% Whole Wheat Cinnamon w/Raisins
2 PointsPlus for 1 slice  4 PointsPlus for 2
13 g carbs for 1 slice  2g fiber per 1 slice
Whole grains, whole grains, whole grains :)

Peanut Butter:
PB2 powdered peanut butter
Like the regular one...the choc. one is just okay to me
1 PointsPlus per 2 Tbps serving  5g carbs  2g fiber
Like this on toast

Better'n Peanut Butter
2 PointsPlus per 2 Tbsp serving  13g carbs  2 g fiber
Like this on sandwiches

Naturally More Peanut Butter
4 PointsPlus per 2 Tbsp serving  8g carbs  4 g fiber
Like this when I want chunky type pb...this has added flaxseed  that gives it an interesting consistency

Polaner Sugar Free w/Fiber
0 PointsPlus per 1 Tbsp serving

Odds and ends:
Walden Farms SF FF Calorie Free Caramel Dip
O PointsPlus per 2 Tbsp serving
Good w/apples or on top of ice cream.  Don't like the chocolate dip personally.

Enough for now.  Lots to do today.

"Have you joined Weight Watchers before?"

I've joined Weight Watchers...again.  After I've filled out the forms, the leader hands me the starting packet and asks the dreaded question (with her all good intentions), "Have you joined Weight Watchers before? Would you like stay after the meeting so we explain the program?"

I must have been ten the first time I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting.  I'm sure my mom helped me get signed up but as the meetings progressed, I biked down to them myself.  If I had a bad week, I would go home, be frustrated with myself and often eat badly and struggle with exercise because I was angry with myself.  If I had a so so week I would take a deep breath, go home and think about how I could improve.  If I had a good week (read - a loss) I would stop by Baskin Robbins on the way home for a celebratory ice cream.

Spoiler alert:  28 years later.  I'm still overweight.  I'm sure you're shocked.  Wait...how do you make the emoticon guy with rolling eyes?

To be technically correct, I am an obese diabetic with high cholesterol, metabolic syndrome, hypo-active thyroid, the beginnings of high blood pressure, fertility problems and gastric reflux (and a cupboard full of pills).  Oh...and extra unwanted facial hair. 

The positive correlation between the prior health list and the reality being overweight and under-exercised...100%.  Even the hair. 

The other uber-important correlation to recognize is the one between the prior list and me.  In the base of who I am, I am lazy, disorganized and have little stamina.  And major problems with how I deal with food if you hadn't clued into that fact.

But...I am also thoughtful, smart, kind and worth the effort of trying another time.  So here I am again.  Well...to be fair...still. 

Throughout my life I have been interested and have joined several types of team sports.  I've been involved in swimming, basketball, and volleyball.  And I sat on the bench in every single one of them.  I'm not particularly talented when it comes to sports in general.  I'm not very fast, very strong or very coordinated.  The water does not make impressive splashes as I glide through the water.  It is merely displaced by my mass.  The basketball does not swish through the basket when I aim and shoot. It makes a lovely ting when it hits the rim.  The volleyball barely reaches the net when I serve.  It usually just hits the ground and the other team gets their turn.  But I've always understood the techniques involved in making these things happen.  Eventually in the sports I joined, I would end up shifting over to being more of a junior coach instead of an athlete on the team.  I excelled at comprehending the necessary techniques and being able to communicate and aid my teammates improve their game.  Understanding the game was always easy to me.  Execution of the game is my weak spot.

Do I need to stay after the meeting to have you help me understand the program?

Nope.  I got the program.  I could probably run the meetings and would excel at helping the other people get motivated and lose weight.  Executing the plan?  I've got some work to do.